Name's Henry, late to everything cuz I get lost on the path of life~ refresh history message theme

yall-motherfuckers-need-levihan:

avoidingavoidance:

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle 

i hear a calling

"yogurt slinger" 

"100% all-beef thermometer" 

this is the best thing i have ever read


monicalewinsky1996:

retr0philia:

yeah you called me cute, but like

did you mean cute as in puppy cute

or cute as in frick frack tickity tack take off your panties

I hope none of you ever get laid

me sexting
boy: what u wearin? ;)
me: Prada spring/summer 2013 fur coat with daisy appliqué and archive Margiela tabi boots
demon: i possessed you
me: get the fuck out
demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit